I recently met a man at an event who I found to be a terrible show-off. He just couldn’t stop talking about how he lived at home with his parents. Fortunately I didn’t have to tolerate his bragging very long because when the single ladies in the room caught wind of his circumstances he was snapped right up. I went home that night reminiscing about better days gone by when I never had to drive myself anywhere, when bills were never in my name and when dinner would be on the table every night at 6 pm on the dot and was never made by me.
These days, in the city at least, the words ‘and I live with my parents’ are not usually accompanied with “my name is George. I’m unemployed.” People are back at home for many different reasons. Studying for an MBA or, paying off debt, or saving for a down payment, for example. So living at home can often be a sign of upward social mobility rather than the passé downward freefall in social mobility. As more people are returning home it’s becoming normal and so there’s less of a stigma no matter what the reason is.
...as more and more adult kids return home the expectation that their parents will support them in this decision is assumed.
Every parent wants to see their children happy and successful but if your kids are showing signs of boomeranging right back then you need to know that you have the right to choose whether or not you will support them financially in their endeavours. If you cannot afford to support them financially then you need to speak up sooner rather than later. If you’re feeling guilty about not being able to financially support capable, adult children then let’s talk a little about types of expenses namely discretionary expenses and non-discretionary expenses.
If you’re an employed adult moving back home to save for something or to support a change in lifestyle then take the time to think about what it will cost your parents and talk to them.
Non-discretionary expenses are the essentials of life like rent or mortgage payments, food and utilities. Discretionary expenses are the opposite, nonessentials, like vacations, your golf membership and your capable, employed adult children. If you can’t afford everything or if you’re feeling the pinch then the first area you cut back indiscriminately is discretionary expenses. If non-discretionary expenses include debts outside of your mortgage look at paying down the debt faster with a debt consolidation loan in order to free up money. Know that in the long term you are actually helping your kids if it means that they will not have to support you financially in your retirement.
If you’re an employed adult moving back home to save for something or to support a change in lifestyle then take the time to think about what it will cost your parents and talk to them. Your parents are not always going to tell you if they are experiencing financial difficulty.